By Stephanie Duemmel

This past few years more and more teens have lost motivation in life due to the situations around them. Teens are carrying more anxiety and stress that keeps them locked in their rooms, choosing to seclude themselves from others. Fear holds them back and keeps them from finding the motivation to change their environment or their situation in life so they can grow a happier, healthy, and more productive mindset. Many teens have lost motivation to set goals that will help them live the life they have dreamed of. Setting goals is essential to finding happiness in life. Teaching teens how to set goals can help them shut down the fear that is holding them back.

Helping teenagers set their own goals starts with conversation. Ask them what they want in life. Ask them what makes them happy and what motivates them. It starts with a discussion of purpose and passion and what areas of life provide that for them. Teens need to set their own goals because they know what they like to achieve better than you do.

Once the teen can determine the answers to those questions, you can then help them set a future vision and help them set their own goals, be it in the long-term or in the short-term.

Teenagers need guidance and proper advice, especially as they grow into their young adult years. They need help with discernment, decision making, problem solving, and leadership skills. It’s important to help them understand that growing is a process as well as growing “up”. Helping teens become aware of the different skills they will have to build will help them understand and be more patient with themselves in their growth.

 Teens have so much to learn, and as a parent or a guardian, it is our responsibility to make sure their dreams are on the right path and are achievable and reasonable. Setting goals can help teenagers find the motivation they need to get them out of their funk.

Here are some useful tips that would help you teach your teens to effectively set their goals:

Explain to the teen why goals, be it for the short term or the long term, are very crucial and important. Sometimes, teens would not understand why they would have to set goals when there is no guarantee that these goals would ever be achieved. Setting goals helps us find motivation to learn, grow, and find success which builds self-esteem and confidence.

Teach the teen to clearly identify his or her goals. Help your teen create specific goals, goals that are time bound, realistic, achievable, and measurable. Help them create goals based on interests, likes, ambition, knowledge, skill and talent. Because the teens are basically in the age of confusion, wisdom and practical advice from elders and guardians would really be helpful and insightful.

Help the teen create a starting point. The time frame, or the when, of the process should also be suggested. By doing so, the teen would have a clear idea and concept of where he/she would start to move towards the achievement of the goals, and when to start acting on it.

Suggest some step-by-step procedures or processes on how the set goals can be achieved. Helping the teen figure out a roadmap is critical to their success and achievement of those goals. You can help by offering suggestions in building that roadmap, so the teen is clear on how to effectively accomplish the goals. Remember that as a role model and having many more life events, you are far more knowledgeable and experienced when it comes to matters in life, so imparting a little knowledge and wisdom would be a welcome note in the part of the teen.

Orient the teen on how to overcome obstacles and effectively deal with temporary setbacks that may come along the way. Teach your teen the value of understanding that all people have failures, but successful people turn those failures into opportunities. Help them establish determination to overcome any hiccups along the way. Help your teenager understand that viewing failure as opportunity creates more options to achieve the goal.

Share stories of some difficult moments you had when you were growing up and how you overcame those periods in your life that were most challenging. Teens want to know adults are human and not “know it all’s”. Teenagers could benefit from our personal experiences as long as we are not telling them how to fix everything in their life. Offer suggestions, feedback, or experiences that might help them feel less alone, less of a failure, and less of a human being. Help them see that they are just learning how to achieve things in life and help them understand that you are there to help them with their growth into a young adult.

Helping your teenager learn to create goals, learn more, solve problems, and build a roadmap to achieving those goals will help you get your teenager off the couch and out of their room to find a happier, healthier mindset that will help them get the life they want.

Also, if you would like one on one coaching for you or your teenager to improve your outcomes, check out my coaching services at http://www.stephaniedcoaching.com.

I specialize in helping teenagers and parents understand themselves and each other to bring peace back to the family.