If you had to rate your self-confidence on a scale of 1- 10, with 10 being the highest and 1 the lowest, where would you score yourself?

Does your confidence give you the courage to face life…ALL of LIFE?

Being confident is not easy all the time.

Building self-confidence is not easy either.

Hi, I’m Steph, Coach Steph. I specialize in helping teens build key concepts and skills that will help them approach life with a sense of courage, confidence, and commitment that will open opportunities, create possibilities, and teach your teen personal awareness and accountability.

Throughout my career, I have seen the impacts of low self-confidence. I have seen how it impacts a person’s life, their thought process, their ability to learn, their career, personal life, behaviors, and how it has created a limiting belief system. Low self-esteem can keep someone from achieving more in life and can also trap that individual in a negative mindset that will taint their perception of life and those around them.

In my experience, those who suffered from low self-esteem were passed up for jobs, made less income, never spoke up in meetings, had a hard time forming positive relationships, were lonelier, more reclusive in the workplace, avoided learning new things, and had a negative perception of themselves.

People, especially young people, with low self-confidence, had trouble facing the tougher situations.

Many teens struggle with building high self-esteem because of the environment and people around them.

Social media plays a part of teens being unable to build their confidence level. Social media influences our kids to see information that may be inaccurate, biased, or contradictory to the belief system you are trying to instill in them. Helping a teenager differentiate between the volumes of digital information can prove beneficial when helping a teen identify and establish their belief system.

Part of that belief system is how they feel about themselves.

Here are 6 Tips to Help Build Teen Self-confidence:

1. Set the Tone – Show your teen how to face life as you know it. Demonstrate confidence in the challenges you face. Help your teen learn how to face life with confidence especially during the tough times. Talk with them about strategies or problem solving. Talk to your teen about patience, diligence, perseverance, and commitment. Let them learn by watching you. How you show up to life will give them the perception of how they should show up.

2. Set Daily Clear Goals & Expectations – If expectations are never set, then don’t be surprised if your child isn’t crossing the finish line most of the time. By setting clear objectives every day with your child, it can help set direction for them. Also, by setting expectations, you are making it clear what is accepted behavior and what is not. Be sure to communicate clearly so the child is not confused. Check for understanding as well. Sometimes it is helpful if the expectations are written out or the goal of the day are noted on paper or refrigerator white boards. When goals are met, reward the teen for their progress and performance to drive future motivation. Motivation doesn’t have to be monetary. Also, be sure to brainstorm with your teen any obstacles they may see that could get in the way of them completing the daily goals and be sure to create action around those barriers.

3. Allow for Effective Engagement – As we rush through our busy schedules, our days seem very limited on time especially when it comes to touch base conversations. Touch point conversations are extremely important in staying on the same page. Taking 5-10 minutes a day with your teen can make all the difference. Just you and the teen. Make this a safe space to ask questions, get clarification, focus on the goals of the day, and to gain commitment from the teen. This engagement time should be to build the relationship, not hurt it. So avoid any disciplinary action at this time. The teen has to know they have a safe space to openly talk about any challenges or issues.

4. Model the Way – If you expect your teen to have any of the behaviors you want them to have, it starts with you and how you model the way. The teen will learn and take on your thoughts, behaviors, and confidence through their experiences with you. Understanding that they learn through experiences can help you become aware of your own behaviors, especially the negative ones, and help you change the way you behave in front of your teen. It’s hard to gain buy-in if we don’t walk the talk.

5. Create a Space for Feedback – Helping your teen feel comfortable is important especially when it comes to giving and receiving feedback. This is a difficult skill anyway and takes practice to become good at it. When giving feedback, one must be conscious of being compassionate, thoughtful, constructive, kind, and gentle. Many don’t enjoy giving feedback nor receiving it. This is a skill to practice. If you practice with the characteristics I mentioned and treat the teen with respect, you have a greater chance at delivering the talk with success.

6. Follow Up – Without follow up, the teen won’t get the impression that the first 5 steps were important. Everyone needs follow up to help them identify what is and what isn’t important in life. If you are constantly assigning tasks to your child, without following up, the teen might miss the connection and importance of everything you are trying to teach them. Help them understand that the learning process of everything they do is so important to their future and is helping them build core beliefs and values that will help them down the road when they get in the workplace. Use the follow up to your advantage by always reinforcing the life skill of the day.

By following these key tips, you can help your teenager begin to grow their self-confidence and provide them with specific steps to get there.